Cyprus Musings 5

Cyprus musings 5


Eating out in another country has been a learning experience:

Some places come with a sense of humor like the Cod Babba or “Cod Father”…

Lamb kebabs often include several chunks of fat to chew on, and are full of grisly meat: gack!

The restaurateurs by the harbor compete for customers like sellers in an open market. We tried to walk through “restaurant row” and were accosted every few feet by men promising everything from free drinks to all inclusive meals, and everyone made the promise that they would “take very good care of us…” whatever that means. Our expensive meal was “ok.”

Meze mean a series of appetizers that vary from place to place, but they often taste better than the main course, especially the hummus, yogurt cucumber stuff and the warm bread.

A typical Cypriot meal can last up to 3 hours with at least 15 courses including: tongue, goat liver, pickled twigs of caper plant, venison jerky that if chewed might break your teeth, and lots of stuff you have no idea what it’s made of. For dessert, try the “interesting” stewed walnuts, shell and all, marinated in liquor until dark black. When you cut it open, it looks like a squirrel’s brain! I liked about 10 percent of what was served, but am grateful for the experience.

I have yet to get what I order from the menu, at least what I anticipate from the menu. For example:

Dave and I went down town to eat at a café. The waiter promised us that the food was “incredible!” Dave ordered something that resembled a mountain of mashed potatoes with chicken in a white sauce running down it. I ordered something else from the menu and it was a mashed potato arena with chicken and white sauce in the middle. Both plates tasted exactly the same, yet the waiter emphatically denied that they were related. He insisted that the “sauces” were different; our taste buds emphatically disagree.

I have learned that the suggestions from the waiter rarely deliver what they promise. For example, I have seen pictures of something that look like a “gyros” sandwich. I want one of these, but every time I try to order one, the waiter suggests something else that is “So much better.” Then, I agree since I want to have an authentic experience and learn from the experts; but, every time I follow their suggestions, I am disappointed. The last time this happened, everyone else in my family got what I wanted and I ended up, once again, with something else. I thought for sure this time I had it right, but instead of the delicious “doner duram” I got a kebab plate with tough and fatty chicken! I have decided that I have had enough “authentic” culinary experiences now, even though I haven’t tried the “fresh squid salad.”

The best strategy for finding restaurants in a new city, where you don’t know anyone, can’t read the signs, can’t understand the policeman you asked for recommendations, and you left the tour book at home: is to follow your nose.
We went to Guzlyurt for the fun of it, and found ourselves in the middle of a small town with two story buildings on both sides of the one lane streets, no sidewalks and no “one way signs.” How do you get to anything here? Where do you park? When you drive past a place that looks promising, how do you get back to it?
There are no “tourist” friendly maps in North Cyprus that clearly show street names and landmarks to guide you to the hottest new trendy place. (I have been told it is because “North Cyprus” doesn’t really exist.) The street signs are literally the size of a postcard and the maps don’t have street names on them anyway, or if they do, there are no landmarks to help you get your bearings. We finally found a place to pull over to stop. We walked around trying not to get hit by the cars zooming past, pressing ourselves up against the walls and hoping our feet didn’t stick out too far!
As we searched for food, I suddenly smelled something amazing. We walked around a bit more, but had to go back to that smell. It was a restaurant and I didn’t even know what they served, it just smelled soooo good. They were smart to have the grill right next to the front door so that as you passed by you would smell what they were cooking. We ducked into the place and walked to the inner courtyard. There were tall shade trees with small bird cages hanging from the limbs with song birds in them. It sounded like a park. There were posters of horses running through fields that looked like meadows in the Swiss Alps, (so random), and there was a fish tank with two huge fishes that looked something like a cross between a shark and a catfish.
The food took awhile to arrive, but it was worth the wait. We had simple pita with lettuce and tomato with chicken roasted on the grill to perfection, seasoned with something mysterious yet delicious. My nose did not disappoint.

There is one place to get ice cream called Mardos which serves real “American style” ice cream. Turkish ice cream is sticky like marshmallow cream and I can’t describe the taste because I couldn’t get past the texture. It stuck to the roof of my mouth and coated my teeth so that my tongue became claustrophobic!